Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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