The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
