nut hugger
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize