Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
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