We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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