I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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