Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Randomize