I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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