its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
