I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize