well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Randomize
