my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Randomize