every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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