ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
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