Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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