Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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