trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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