so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
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