If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
ok first of all what the fuck
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
