All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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