i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
never play flip cup with pint glasses
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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