We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
