OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
