Only a mothe r could love this liver
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
