somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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