ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
