I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Randomize