You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Green mimosas i think yes
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
