2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Randomize
