omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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