Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
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