i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
