I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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