I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
