the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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