Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
