Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
