Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize