You made me cry and you don't even care
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
