i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
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