to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
my being single is dangerous.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
