So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Randomize
