Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Randomize
