brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
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