found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
