At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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