I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Hello my rib-scented angel!
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
