I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
