No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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