Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
