If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
