But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Randomize
