She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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