i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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