i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
