the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
