I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
