oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
