i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
